Here’s Why You Need to Stop Worrying About What Others Think
I've wasted too much time worrying about what others think. And I'm done with it. Why? I realized that worrying about what others think gives them the power to define my self-worth. Relying on outsiders for validation? Eek! That's enough convincing for me.
Now of course, we're human. Few of us can honestly say, "I don't ever give a flip about what others think!" It's normal to care about how others perceive us or what they think about our choices, particularly if they are family or good friends. The issue is when we need to hear someone say, "Yes, you're smart!" "Yes, you should 100% leave your job!" "Yes, you can pull off that look!" And so on, and so forth. We have to hear our own voice the loudest rather than looking outside of ourselves for affirmation.
I came to this conclusion when digging deep in my professional life and still remind myself about it. Allowing them to validate us is crazy for a whole bunch of reasons, including:
Learning to trust your gut creates confidence and builds grit. Does the opinion of that co-worker who you're going to forget about one day really negate what you feel is right inside? And if your gut says yes, but you fail, shouldn't you just learn from it and get back up again instead of defaulting to, "Oh yeah, my co-worker was right after all"?
How others react is about them, not you. Ever think that they're jealous or scared when you share an opinion or your grand plan? Misery loves company. Haters are going to hate. Whatever!
We get one life to live and we're the only one living it. Not them. Who wants to deal with regrets based on the peanut gallery's opinions?
And if all else fails, I assure you: no one thinks about you as much as you think they do. We're all a bit narcissistic here. We assume everyone is talking or thinking about us, but in reality, everyone is really more preoccupied with their own lives.
Not to mention, we all have our own reasons WHY we care what others think, but my bet is that it's all commonly rooted in self-doubt or a lack of confidence. When I picture my shy teenage self bossing around my self-assured grown up self, it makes me want to laugh. Add that to the above list!
Now wouldn't it feel good to just flip that script instead of giving a flip what others think? 🤔