How I got unstuck
I'm a planner. (Shocker, I know.) Before my surgery, I set up a makeshift office in our den. I planned to sit on the part of our cozy sectional that has a built-in ottoman so it could accommodate my leg. I filled a wicker basket with electronics. I put books on the coffee table. I was ready.
about day four of the recovery, I couldn't believe how much my lower back and neck ached from not walking or moving. I hadn't anticipated that and it was frustrating, but I told myself I could push through to the end and it would be worth it. I wiggled around, reconfigured pillows, and made sure I got up each hour. I let this go on for a few more days until it hit me like a ton of bricks:
I was stuck.
Kind of literally, but definitely figuratively. I kept showing up and doing the same thing every day, accepting the less than ideal result without trying to change it. I was like a mouse trying to figure out who moved my cheese.* Upon the "stuck" realization though, I quite literally sat up straighter when the light bulb went off, looked around, blinked a few times, and put my thinking cap on.
To unstick myself, I took three key steps that I know I'll be using in the future:
Get off autopilot. While I wasn't doing the same thing every day expecting a different result (the definition of insanity!), it was almost worse: I was taking the same action even though I didn't like the result. I had resigned myself to "the way it had to be." What nonsense! Disrupting my thinking made me realize I could take back control and change things up. But how?
Take off the blinders. I was so committed to my pre-surgery plan, I never stopped to consider other options. As in, the very sturdy, comfortable leather armchair also located right in my den that would better support my back and allow me to put my feet up. I never sit there, so I didn't even consider it. Next time, I'll revisit the plan (which might not even require thinking too far outside the box!). But to adjust my plan, one piece was missing....
Ask for help. Yep, this one is going to be hard for many, me included. First, I had to ask my family for help relocating some items so they were within reach in my new spot. This required admitted my plan no longer worked. Nobody cared. Second, I also realized I needed to stretch more and that required physical assistance. It became a family affair to "get Mom on the TRX" or "get Mom off the floor," and guess what? Nobody minded!
The thing is, being "stuck" implies impermanence. I think of a "stuck" object as something that can be jostled loose and put back into place. It's not "stuck" forever. That perspective also made room for self-compassion when I realized I had been stuck.
So the next time I'm stuck on a project at work, spinning wheels while practicing or writing a keynote, or at an impasse in my constant battle with tech, I'll remember what I did during this recovery and apply it. At least in the future, no one will have to hand me my crutches afterwards. And rest assured: I'll definitely find my way to that manchego.
*Who Moved My Cheese? was the very first personal development book I ever read years and years ago after it caught my attention on a random table at the book store. It sticks with me to this day and I highly recommend it!
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