I’m taking this into 2025
"OMG! I LOVE your shoes!"
Reflexively, the women I was standing with in a small circle all looked down at my feet. In a split second, I felt a combination of relief, grief, and gratitude. Relief that the unconventional shoe choice for a professional event was peer-approved; grief that I wasn't wearing fancy heels like 98% of the other women at the event; and gratitude for stepping out of my comfort zone.
As they looked at my blinged out, platform sneakers peeking out from under my long skirt, some other women chimed in: "Those are AWESOME!" and "I want those!" Reflexively, I said something aloud that I'd never said to anyone else before: "Thanks! Heels aren't available to me anymore, so I thought these would be fun." I was met with vigorously shaking heads and big smiles. I felt myself smile wide too. And when I drove home later that night, I realized my off-the-cuff remark reflected a lesson I've learned this year: how we talk to ourselves matters. So we must choose our words wisely.
If I had instead said, "I can't wear heels anymore," I would have felt... heavy. I probably would have made an annoyed face. And if you had been there, you might have nodded sympathetically. But when I said "heels aren't available," I felt confident and empowered. After all, the issue is not with me -- the issue is with heels not working for my needs. And if you had been there too, hopefully my attitude was infectious.
Saying we "can't" do something is so limiting, right? Sure, there are plenty of things I can't do (heights, thrill rides, and complex math come to mind). But this year, I've made a point to notice how I talk to myself. Off the cuff remarks like, "Oh, I can't cook" turn into "I'm a work in progress in the kitchen!" And so on and so forth.
Words are small, but their impact is big. What words will you use to talk to yourself next year? Is there any limiting belief you have about yourself that you can rephrase?
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