She was (literally) striking
The woman walking towards me was absolutely striking.
She stood out on the cold, dreary Saturday morning in New York City. Her long, straight dark hair was freshly styled. Her makeup was flawless yet understated, accentuating her pretty features and dark eyes. She was young, but dressed older than her years, especially for a weekend. Her long, wool camel coat was unbuttoned, revealing a cream-colored cashmere turtleneck and matching silk trousers cinched with a smart belt. She clutched a designer handbag and her boots click-clacked as she moved quickly up the sidewalk.
Right before she passed me, I thought to myself: "She looks like a million bucks and probably feels like it too." And then she passed on my left, hit her shoulder against mine, and growled: "MOVE."
Well, maybe not.
There was a time in my life that this interaction would have immediately made me feel insecure. I would have been panicked, wondering if I was somehow in her way without realizing it, or tortured myself over whether she clocked me as a middle-aged, suburban mom from Jersey who annoyed her with my presence.
But no more. I've learned that the way people treat us has nothing to do with us but everything to do with THEM. Random rudeness? Cutting you off and flipping you off while driving? Body checking you on the street? That's all a choice. (And yes, it includes the times that maybe you aren't on YOUR best behavior. There are graceful ways to step away and disengage. This middle-aged, suburban Jersey mom would suggest that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.)
So after my initial surprise (and honestly, chuckle to myself), my first thought was: "I wonder what happened to her.'" Because something was definitely going on with HER, not me. The "What happened to you?" question flips the script to curiosity and compassion rather than frustration and self-doubt. Not to mention, this question reminds us to hold on to our power -- and control -- rather than handing it over "them" for how they've chosen to treat us.
Not to mention, I should have known better than to assume I knew anything about her based on her outward appearance. We know what happens when we ass-u-me! We never know what someone has going on and why. So next time, I vow to do better.
So whoever she is and wherever she is, I hope she's ok.
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