Sorry not sorry
I was at a "parents' night out" dinner at a restaurant the other night. As we sat down to eat, the server came over to take our drink order. One of the moms picked up the beer and wine list and ordered a lager on tap. The server told her that the beer was no longer available and the mom said: "Oh! I'm sorry!" before she picked another beer.
Later that night, I received a response from a contact I had emailed several weeks earlier. I had reached out to pick her brain for help promoting an event I'm helping to organize. Her email began and ended with profuse apologies for her delayed response. (As in, the apologies would have sufficed if she ran over my dog with her car.) In the middle, she provided excellent advice and offered to make meaningful connections.
Friends, here's a gentle reminder: stop apologizing. This one goes out to my ladies in particular. Whether it's a result of social conditioning or habit, much of the time, our apologies are unnecessary. A simple fix to break the habit? Try gratitude instead. For my mom friend who apologized to the server for ordering a beer that was out of stock, how about, "Oh! Thanks for letting me know." For my contact who responded a few weeks after I sent my email, how about, "Thanks for your patience in awaiting my reply."
When we unnecessarily apologize, we sound defensive and unintentionally take responsibility for something for which we're not at fault. When we flip the script to express gratitude to the other person, we showcase strength and make that person feel good for receiving our thanks. Whether it's at home or work, I challenge you to take note of whether your apologies are needed -- and how you feel when you take back your power to flip the script to gratitude.
But yeah, it's ok to be sorry for not being sorry.
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