Why I wear purple on 10/21

Give or take ten years ago, I read an article in my local newspaper about an organization that assisted low-income women who were victims and survivors of domestic violence. It provided free legal representation for the women to seek final restraining orders against their abusers. Attorneys could volunteer to complete training and then take pro bono cases on behalf of these women. The organization, Partners For Women and Justice, was local to where I lived and worked. I decided I had to get involved. Today, I want to talk about this incredible organization and how that decision to volunteer led to meaningful personal and professional development.

Although I wanted to volunteer, I was petrified of actually trying one of the cases to seek a final restraining order. I didn't handle criminal matters and would have to learn a completely new area of the law. Not to mention, as a commercial litigator, I didn't try cases. My court appearances were limited to status conferences, motion hearings, and settlement conferences. We won on motion or by settling. I was also worried about spending a day out of the office to attend the training. As an associate, I was stressed out and drowning in time-sensitive work. But I promised myself I'd go, and the pro bono director at my firm had been supportive of my mission. I completed the training, which was a blur because of the newness of it all and because it was evident that the work profoundly mattered, to say the least.

Not long after I completed the training, I volunteered to take my first case. I will never forget meeting my client and her children and hearing her story. Her husband had violently assaulted her multiple times. She showed me photos of her bruises and the police report. Never before had I witnessed anything like this or met someone (to my knowledge) who endured such suffering. She was scared, brave, and determined all at the same time. She was incredible. And I was still petrified of making a mistake and blowing it. If she didn't obtain the final restraining order, what would happen to her and her children? I gained some perspective quickly.

I prepared for my first ever trial and threw everything I had into learning the law and how to try a case. Thankfully, the staff attorneys at Partners were amazing and walked me through everything I needed to know (multiple times, with patience). When the day came, my heart was racing but I squared my shoulders and marched into court. If my client could courageously be there, facing her abuser and testifying against him in open court -- a completely strange and scary experience under even neutral circumstances -- then I could certainly get it together as her advocate.

The judge granted the final restraining order. I have never felt prouder to be an attorney. Unfortunately, my next case for Partners did not have the same result. The trial lasted several days but the court heard the case intermittently over the course of about two months. My client was living a nightmare and in fear of getting fired for taking time off of work to attend court. She did not have any family in the country and was supporting herself while attending college. I thought my life was overwhelming? More perspective gained. She was the definition of resilience, grace, and strength. She led by example without realizing it.

Over the years, attorneys at my firm trained to become pro bono attorneys for Partners. I was proud and even helped others get their feet under them when taking their first case. (Me, the person who hadn't known what she was doing!) I co-chaired the Partners annual benefit twice and was honored and humbled when the Board chair invited me to serve as a trustee. I've served on the Board for about five years now.

Professionally, deciding to take these cases taught me to hold my own in court in a different way. Never before had I taken testimony, cross-examined a witness, sought to admit evidence, or opposed motions made on the fly. I gained a confidence and steadiness I could rely on in my civil cases. Most importantly, I learned that even when Partners lost these cases, having an attorney representing the victim and advocating on her behalf made a real difference. Personally, where to begin? Suffice it to say that the organization and its clients opened my eyes to the world. I learned a lot about myself, including how lucky and blessed I was (and am) in every aspect of my life. It's difficult to put into words, but I grew up in a way I couldn't have foreseen after reading that newspaper article.

Today, the organization has expanded its mission to include victims and survivors of domestic and sexual violence, regardless of gender identity. It recently rebranded itself as Partners and launched a new website and logo. I am grateful to have had the honor to stand beside these women and now to stand up for all victims and survivors of domestic and sexual violence.