Just because you’re good at it doesn’t mean you have to do it

"Just because I'm good at being a lawyer at a law firm doesn't mean I have to do it.... It's ok not to want it anymore. It's ok to let it go."

I said this during my interview on the Lawyers Who Launch podcast. I was explaining the decision-making process that led me to leave private practice at a law firm. When I listened to the episode, I decided to expand on it because there's so much to unpack, regardless of whether you're a lawyer.

First, the whole "just because you're good at something doesn't mean you have to do it." I remember when I realized this and my brain started smoking. Of course I became good at practicing law: it was all I ever wanted to do, so I worked my tail off and was lucky enough to be trained by the best lawyers. One tiny thing: I forgot I had a choice. When the mental and physical exhaustion set in and I became disenchanted, I just kept going. I was simultaneously successful, so it took a long time for the light bulb to go off.

Second, the realization that "it's ok not to want it anymore." How much time do we have? I'll be honest: I felt embarrassed. How could I not want to have this job anymore? Everyone who knew me knew it was all I ever wanted and had proudly achieved it. I was afraid I'd let "them" down. I was afraid I'd be a failure. It took awhile to realize it is ok to want to take my skill set and do something different. I wasn't a failure. I had evolved.

Lastly, "it's ok to let it go." This one is hard. In a way, it was a grieving process. To let go of the dream I accomplished and to walk away. But I had to give myself permission to close one door so another would open. It would be difficult, it would be a change, and it would be a challenge, but it would be ok.

If this message reaches only one person, I will have succeeded. Because if I had realized all of the above sooner, I would have saved myself a lot of stress and anxiety. I realized this when deciding whether to accept a new position (lucky!), but even if I didn't have another option, feeling in control and knowing I could make a choice would have been freeing. Not to mention, a much better use of mental energy.

Does this resonate with you too? What is it that you don't "have" to do?

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