Accountability partners vs. perfectionism
I love writing my JMT Speaks newsletter. (Sign up here if you don’t receive it — and I’ll send you my nifty guide on how to write better emails!) Suffice it to say, it's a highlight of my week. Sometimes it takes me 25 minutes. Sometimes it takes me an hour. However, I used to have this tiny problem: No matter how long it took, I couldn't leave it alone. I couldn't say, "It's done!" and move on with my life. I'd tinker with it night after night, driving myself nuts over inane things like whether semi-colons are too archaic. (They're not; I love 'em.)
Has that ever happened to you? You finish something, but you can't really accept that it's "done"? You think, "I'll just give it a quick glance." Forty-five minutes later, you've moved a comma and wasted your time. If this resonates, hello to my fellow perfectionists! We really need to work on that.
So I have a little secret to share. Here's what solved this problem for me and may work for you: get an accountability partner. I write the newsletter the same night every week. When it's done, I text a designated friend and simply say: "The newsletter's done and I'm not touching it!" It's simple but effective. I don't tinker! Instead, I feel a sense of accomplishment.
It's motivating to commit (in writing!) that I've put my proverbial pen down. And I won't go back on my word to her. All she does is say something like, "Great!" Her only assigned job is to stalk me if I don't check in to say, "It's done!" But I haven't had to because it WORKS. It's now a habit to write it, move on, and quiet that pesky perfectionist voice.
It also works because I purposefully selected someone who isn't going to let me off the hook. Your accountability partner can't tolerate excuses. Likewise, this person has to be someone who doesn't suffer fools. A person you won't even try an excuse with in the first place. This person's mission, if they choose to accept it, is to keep you in line. In other words: think twice about asking your significant other, mom, or best friend!
Do you use an accountability partner, whether for work-related tasks or to motivate yourself to exercise? (I've done that too - nothing like meeting a bunch of friends for a 6 a.m. exercise class to avoid hitting snooze!) Is your relationship reciprocal or a one-way street like my current arrangement? I'd love to hear what's worked (and not worked) for you.